A message from Anonymous
hi Rogue!! Thank you for updating the soloist!! it is such a beautiful story and I was wondering since you teach sex ed, have you ever actually had to deal with or counsel someone who has had the kind of problem that kurt has had (dont want to spoil it for anyone!!) before? because its very well written and just seems to ring true.

Hello there! 

My pleasure! As I’ve been telling a few others, I definitely wish I had more time to write than I do, but this January I’m going to crunch down and finish Chapter XII, since you guys were all so wonderfully patient for the last one. 

I appreciate you avoiding the spoiler! I have not had to deal with it directly as a sex ed teacher, no, but in training I read countless articles and interviews about/with people who have been through that sort of thing, and what it does to them, emotionally. The subject is obviously delicate, so I really did a lot of research before and during the laying out of the idea and the actual writing. 

So far, the response has been nothing but supportive, so I’m very happy that all of you are happy with the way it’s being tackled. (I’ve gotten so many lovely PMs in response to Chapter XI, and will definitely be responding to those soon!)

Thank you for reading, and for the support!

A message from Anonymous
I am actually crying, thanks to chapter 8 of The Soloist, and I think I know why Kurt reacted the way he did but I don't want to spoil it lol. If I'm right though I did NOT see that coming and that is really, really sad :'(

Aw, I’m so sorry I made you cry! That is good in a way, though, because that was kind of the intended effect. You probably guessed right - it’s not hard to guess after that chapter. And yes, the next few chapters are going to be pretty sad. If you really want to know if you’re right, you can come off anon and I’ll let you know!

A message from Anonymous
how old did you make blaine in The Soloist?

Blaine is twenty-four and Kurt is twenty-one. I thought a bit of an age difference would be interesting.

A message from Anonymous
can i say the Soloist makes me so happy? with the story and how the music ties in to the little moments, its perfect :)

You have no idea how happy this makes me. Honestly. Sometimes I get kinda down about it because it’s never been feedback heavy, but every once in a while someone’ll say something so nice like this and bring my spirits right back up. Thank you so much, I’m so happy you’re enjoying it <3

Damn you, writer’s block!

A message from Anonymous
i had to tell you that i fangirled so hard when i saw that you updated the soloist. that was such a good chapter. is the display that kurt and blaine went to see a real display? your descriptions were so scary and good, i was just wondering :)

Haha aw, thank you. Glad you liked it. And yes, that was a real display that I saw in New York last November. The images really stuck with me, but they resonate with Kurt in particular, for reasons that will come about later in the story. Thank you for reading!

The Soloist - Chapter III

The completed Chapter III is now on FF! Here is a little snippet for ya!

The Soloist - Chapter III

Danny Elfman: “The Piano Duet”

The piano.

There was Kurt, sitting, back straight, right hand positioned above the black and white keys with a kind of formality that Blaine’s hands would never have, at the concert grand piano, intently plucking out the introduction of the sweet duet Blaine had heard so many times… and looking… a little sad.

Blaine wasn’t sure what made him do it. He wasn’t thinking at all, really. He was just walking, humming along with the melody in his mind – the melody he knew so very well – until he had reached the piano and had taken a seat by Kurt’s side.

Kurt’s long, slender fingers graced the surface of each key as he played those seven somber bass notes, leading into the upper part…

Right hand loose, slack, but still precise, Blaine played those same seven notes, three octaves higher. And for the first time since he had sat down, he and Kurt made eye contact.

Without breaking that contact, Kurt brought his hand blindly back to the keyboard and played a rearrangement of those same seven notes, this time, more acceptance. More finality. Without saying a word, Kurt was begging Blaine to play more.

An octave higher Blaine went, this time with both hands, and played nine notes that were so similar to those previous seven, would have been almost exactly the same, had it not been for the lift from a dark, grave, minor key, to a suddenly hopeful, almost inquisitive major key.

A smile played at one corner of Kurt’s lips, but he held it back as he finally took his shining blue eyes off of Blaine and onto the keyboard as he used both hands to lay down the final poignant, regretful chord of the introduction.

Perhaps a little bit earlier than the time signature indicated, both of Blaine’s hands jumped back into the piece, and he was twinkling away at the highest possible octave in that spirited, yet slightly suspicious little tune. The one that marked where this ever-mysterious piece truly began.

And that was when Kurt smiled. He looked straight into Blaine’s eyes, his own dancing with the reflections of the spotlights high above them, and smiled.

Beaming back at him, Blaine continued bouncing along playfully in the minor key, easing right into the six notes of the waltz timing…

And Kurt came in strong and powerful with the lower part, every note resounding a hundred times over in the empty theatre as Blaine’s fingers flew up and down the keys, the impossibly quick changes of his right hand producing the endless allegro that was the soul of the song while Kurt’s deep, commanding melody was the body.

Within a few seconds, the song’s climactic pinnacle began to quiet down, and before Blaine knew it Kurt’s fingers were flying at high-speed up the keys, one note following the next in record timing until he was leaning directly over Blaine, reaching far so that his index and middle fingers could trill the B and C, like the buzzing of a bumble bee or the flapping of a hummingbird’s wings.

He gradually eased out of the endless drumming rhythm of the trill, smiling into Blaine’s eyes and realizing that their faces were now just inches apart.

A preview of Chapter II! I&#8217;m almost done editing the rest of it. When I finish, it&#8217;ll be posted right after Chapter I on LJ and FF! I&#8217;ll also be posting pictures of the story locations as well as links to the songs our characters will be playing on my page. Just go to my Tumblr profile and look for &#8220;The Soloist&#8221; under my bio, and enjoy! Cheers!
The Soloist - Chapter II
Mozart: Piano Sonata #11 In A, K 331, &#8220;Turkish March&#8221; - 3. Rondo Alla Turca
It is quite difficult to describe musicality – true musicality – to a person who is not a musician. The processes of the mind that only occur during performance are possibly some of the most mysterious aspects of the brain’s inner workings, and yet, there was a small part of Blaine that didn’t want to understand them. Breaking down a beautiful thing, dissecting it into pieces so that it can be analyzed, understood, often makes the thing less beautiful.
So it was with Blaine’s performance – by memory – of Mozart’s eleventh Sonata “Rondo Alla Turca” on his very first day with the Valiance Chamber Orchestra. He touched the first note, and from there, his fingers sped, but his heart and mind sped even faster.
Ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb. Three notes twice. Trill two three four, trill two three four, trill two three four five. Repeat.
He could feel his heart beating in his ears, keeping in time with the music…
Major lift, major drop. Repeat. Minor lift, minor drop. Repeat.
Seconds before he had started playing, he had been aware that he was starting to sweat, that he had an itch at the back of his neck, that his new shoes would inhibit his ability to use the sustain pedal. Now, the only vestibular senses he had at all were for his two wrists, his two hands, his ten fingers, and his right foot which, despite his earlier (and rather irrational) concern about his new shoes, was performing its part well.
Ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb. Take it down, take it down, aaand… refrain.
He had reached the refrain. The part he knew better than the backs of his two hands which, despite that ever-mysterious lapse in mental processes that all musicians experience at some point during any given performance, continued playing. Not a wrong note was hit. Not a beat was missed. And Blaine was just watching. Watching his hands play.
I could stop if I wanted, he mused, watching his hands go, go, go… repeat the verse, the ring two three four again, again… and go back into the refrain… I’m in control of my hands. They’re moving because I’m making them move. They’re touching the notes I want them to touch. I could hit a wrong note. I might forget what comes next. Oh God, what comes next… right, right, up up up, then down down down… then repeat. Then bumble bee again… then back to the beginning…
Refrain.
Muscle memory, that’s what it was. Regardless of whether or not Blaine’s mind had been blank or repeating major lift, major drop, minor lift, minor drop, if he had wanted to pound out Mozart’s eleventh Sonata, his hands would have. Blaine knew this, because the same thing happened every time he put his hands to the keys: his mind guided him for the first several measures, instructing his hands, and then… nothing. His mind went somewhere else, but his hands pressed on.
And then, at the very end, when his heart had reached a dangerous rate and he was starting to think Oh God, I’m so close, but it doesn’t mean anything, I could still hit a wrong note, I have twelve measures to screw this up, his mind stepped back in.
Offset the double notes, offset the double notes, three trills and quiet, quiet, quiet, double notes in unison, double notes in unison, up down, up down, up down up down up down, and, DONE.

A preview of Chapter II! I’m almost done editing the rest of it. When I finish, it’ll be posted right after Chapter I on LJ and FF! I’ll also be posting pictures of the story locations as well as links to the songs our characters will be playing on my page. Just go to my Tumblr profile and look for “The Soloist” under my bio, and enjoy! Cheers!

The Soloist - Chapter II

Mozart: Piano Sonata #11 In A, K 331, “Turkish March” - 3. Rondo Alla Turca

It is quite difficult to describe musicality – true musicality – to a person who is not a musician. The processes of the mind that only occur during performance are possibly some of the most mysterious aspects of the brain’s inner workings, and yet, there was a small part of Blaine that didn’t want to understand them. Breaking down a beautiful thing, dissecting it into pieces so that it can be analyzed, understood, often makes the thing less beautiful.

So it was with Blaine’s performance – by memory – of Mozart’s eleventh Sonata “Rondo Alla Turca” on his very first day with the Valiance Chamber Orchestra. He touched the first note, and from there, his fingers sped, but his heart and mind sped even faster.

Ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb. Three notes twice. Trill two three four, trill two three four, trill two three four five. Repeat.

He could feel his heart beating in his ears, keeping in time with the music…

Major lift, major drop. Repeat. Minor lift, minor drop. Repeat.

Seconds before he had started playing, he had been aware that he was starting to sweat, that he had an itch at the back of his neck, that his new shoes would inhibit his ability to use the sustain pedal. Now, the only vestibular senses he had at all were for his two wrists, his two hands, his ten fingers, and his right foot which, despite his earlier (and rather irrational) concern about his new shoes, was performing its part well.

Ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb, ring three four thumb. Take it down, take it down, aaand… refrain.

He had reached the refrain. The part he knew better than the backs of his two hands which, despite that ever-mysterious lapse in mental processes that all musicians experience at some point during any given performance, continued playing. Not a wrong note was hit. Not a beat was missed. And Blaine was just watching. Watching his hands play.

I could stop if I wanted, he mused, watching his hands go, go, go… repeat the verse, the ring two three four again, again… and go back into the refrain… I’m in control of my hands. They’re moving because I’m making them move. They’re touching the notes I want them to touch. I could hit a wrong note. I might forget what comes next. Oh God, what comes next… right, right, up up up, then down down down… then repeat. Then bumble bee again… then back to the beginning…

Refrain.

Muscle memory, that’s what it was. Regardless of whether or not Blaine’s mind had been blank or repeating major lift, major drop, minor lift, minor drop, if he had wanted to pound out Mozart’s eleventh Sonata, his hands would have. Blaine knew this, because the same thing happened every time he put his hands to the keys: his mind guided him for the first several measures, instructing his hands, and then… nothing. His mind went somewhere else, but his hands pressed on.

And then, at the very end, when his heart had reached a dangerous rate and he was starting to think Oh God, I’m so close, but it doesn’t mean anything, I could still hit a wrong note, I have twelve measures to screw this up, his mind stepped back in.

Offset the double notes, offset the double notes, three trills and quiet, quiet, quiet, double notes in unison, double notes in unison, up down, up down, up down up down up down, and, DONE.

The first chapter is complete! Still navigating my way around LJ, though. I’ll also put it up on FF, as soon as that utterly pointless forty-eight hour waiting period is over. Anyway, here are my URLs! Pretty predictable :)

http://copyrogueleader.livejournal.com/

http://www.fanfiction.net/~copyrogueleader